In the end, it was simply depressing.
It is depressing that I failed, of course. Failure is always miserable. Failing to finish FFX, though: that particular feeling of depression pales into insignificance when compared to the sheer morbidity involved in contemplating even looking at those terrible terrible characters with their terrible terrible whiny voices for even another minute. I just couldn’t do it any more. It had become too horrible a prospect. I survived maybe thirty hours; and every single shred of hope for some tiny glimmer of fun to be had with this monumentally bad game was systematically stripped away over those thirty gruelling hours. No more. I just couldn’t take it. It broke me. (more…)
I really did try. I know that some people won’t believe me, but by having a good old moan about why I would loathe Final Fantasy X, I thought I’d pre-empt and somehow offload some of the annoyances and start with a something like a clean sheet. OK, maybe not a clean sheet exactly, but I thought I’d at least be able to sit down and play with some semblance of good humour. I thought that I’d maybe overstated things a little, and if I had lapsed into hyperbole, I’d still glean some entertainment from the process, even if it was merely to have an enjoyable rant at various aspects of the game. After all, I do actually like playing games and FFX is described as a game. (more…)
Tomorrow it begins. Tomorrow, I take on Final Fantasy X.
I am striving to tackle this fine piece of entertainment with something approaching an open mind, but I have certain expectations and preconceptions that stand in my way. There are hurdles to overcome. The title of this post should give you a clue to what the final hurdle to overcome is exactly: I hate fantasy. When you are setting out to invest a not inconsiderable amount of time into playing a game called Final Fantasy, the general loathing of all things fantasy could well be a major stumbling block. Another one. Perhaps, though, I can shed these burdens that I carry. Perhaps I shall lighten my load and float serenely and happily through this delightful console JRPG. Perhaps.
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My aim is to try and approach the playing of Final Fantasy X with something close to an open mind. This is a difficult task, given that I already know something of it, mostly due to certain people attempting to persuade me that the game has some merit. I have already covered the console loathing which represents the first significant hurdle to enjoyment. Next, I’m going to talk about storytelling in games and why this will be the next major hurdle for me to leap over in order to enjoy (ha!) FFX.
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I didn’t always dislike consoles quite as much. It never used to be the passionate loathing I have now. Once, I didn’t vomit bile and spit acid at the mere mention of the word ‘Playstation.’ I have memories of the 8 bit era that are almost fond: rose-tinted as such memories are. Later, I simply felt a disinterest approaching ambivalence when it came to consoles. After all, we had PCs, and PCs did useful things and you could play games on them. Why would you want to buy another box to inhabit your living room that only played fairly mindless arcade-style games? Consoles had their place; and it wasn’t a place that particularly concerned me.
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The gauntlet has been thrown down. The challenge has been accepted. At the end of this month, a terrible fate awaits me. I shall attempt to play through Final Fantasy X.
I have never played any of the bloated and contemptible Final Fantasy cash cow franchise. I hate them all anyway. I simply know that I loathe them. I know that they represent the nadir of gaming. It’s this sort of thing that makes the playing of games embarrassing: the mere association with filthy products like Final Fantasy is enough to evoke shame.
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There’s a thin line between love and hate and I’m walking it. I say walking, but mostly I’m running along it, arms stretched out to keep my balance. More often than not, I fall: crashing to earth painfully in a cloud of sweary anger.
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Today is Ada Lovelace Day, an international day of blogging to celebrate the achievements of women in tech and science fields. I’m not much of a blogger, it’s true, but I’m willing to take part in the day’s activities in my own small way. The idea is to write about our heroines in science and technology. Sounds easy on the face of it, but it has turned out to be tougher in practice. Mainly, I suppose, due to the marginalisation of women in this area over the years.
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I recently wrote about Ada Lovelace Day and I mentioned in passing that girls tend to initially surpass boys at mathematics in school. Then something happens, and girls almost entirely disappear from maths and the sciences. I vaguely remembered reading about this divergence in maths abilities as children progress through school somewhere, and went looking for sources. It seemed like there was this clear cause and effect thing going on: girls disappear from the science disciplines at school for some reason, resulting in a gender imbalance in related careers. After writing that, it seemed like a gross simplification, and I thought I’d try and find out a bit more about what’s going on.
First, some more simplification:

Courtesy of xkcd.
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24th March 2010 is Ada Lovelace Day.
Ada Lovelace Day is an international day of blogging to celebrate the achievements of women in technology and science. The idea is to write something about a woman in technology or science that you admire.
Marvellous! This is something I can get behind. Having worked in IT for over a decade now, I can say from my own experience that it’s a field that remains heavily populated by the male gender, with women a distinct minority. I also work for a large manufacturing company, and have witnessed the scarcity of women in the engineering disciplines. It seems to me that we need to be encouraging more women to join these professions. Sign me up.
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